Thursday, March 04, 2004
IT'S BEEN A WHILE.
But I am back. And today the name of the game is anxiety management for myself and others. It is the scourge of existence, a gnawing pang in the stomach that is a near-constant companion. I've wondered for a long time - at what point is anxiety a clinical condition that requires medication versus a state of existential angst? It can be a fine line.
Today's anxiety is about Sunny getting Draino put into her veins, the insecurity of a new job and the schoolwork that awaits me.
Coupled with the anxiety is the guilt that I cannot commit to staying endlessly at Sunny's bedside. It's not that I want to leave her, but the anxiety around leaving her is outweighed by the anxiety of keeping a job. Right now, life feels like it is comprised of evil choices and painful compromises.
I say this with the full knowledge of my good fortune at not being at HK anymore. That place was an anxiety factory.
But I am back. And today the name of the game is anxiety management for myself and others. It is the scourge of existence, a gnawing pang in the stomach that is a near-constant companion. I've wondered for a long time - at what point is anxiety a clinical condition that requires medication versus a state of existential angst? It can be a fine line.
Today's anxiety is about Sunny getting Draino put into her veins, the insecurity of a new job and the schoolwork that awaits me.
Coupled with the anxiety is the guilt that I cannot commit to staying endlessly at Sunny's bedside. It's not that I want to leave her, but the anxiety around leaving her is outweighed by the anxiety of keeping a job. Right now, life feels like it is comprised of evil choices and painful compromises.
I say this with the full knowledge of my good fortune at not being at HK anymore. That place was an anxiety factory.
